Pickup lines and comebacks
by knitted web
Summary: Mai gets hit on but she has a few tricks up her sleeve.


**Me: Hello my beautiful readers! *halo appears and angles sing***

**Mai: What are you gonna do? *looks at me suspiciously***

**Naru: If it is anything with me being embarrassed then i'm not participating! *glowers***

**Me: *looks innocently at him* But Naru, even though I don't own Ghost Hunt doesn't mean you don't have to do as I say.**

**Mai: Lets just get on with it.**

The SPR gang was at a club. Yes thats right, a club. It was Mai's 20th birthday and they had decided to celebrate by partying. Monk was on his way to getting drunk, Ayako was already drunk so didn't hit him with her purse when he started to flirt with her, Masako was sitting of to the side quietly sipping an iced tea, John was with her looking a bit uncomfortable, Lin and Madoka were sitting and talking, Yasu and Michelle were video taping everyone, waiting to catch blackmail worthy moments on tape, Mai was dancing, and Naru stoically stood to the side watching her discreetly.

Mai sat down, tired after dancing so long. Naru quietly took a seat next to her. Mai was just ordering her drink when a slightly drunk man came up to her. "Is this seat empty?" he asked leering at her. Naru was glaring at him about to tell him to get away from his assistant when Mai said "Yes, and this one will be if you sit down." Both Naru and the man looked at her in shock. The man shook it off and then dropped another line. "Where have you been all my life?" "Hiding from you." she shot back. Not to be deterred the man continued talking. "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Calmly taking a sip of her drink Mai said "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Naru was shocked, Mai seemed to have a comeback for all of his lines. It had started to attract attention. "Hey baby, what's your sign?" this man was either stubborn, stupid, or both. "Do not enter." was Mai's cool reply. At this Monk, who had been watching laughed and yelled "That's our Mai, always full of surprises!" Ignoring him the man went on blabbing "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" "About as much as when you got kicked out of hell." she told him with a smirk.

By this point the whole of the SPR gang was listening for what he would say next. "Your body is like a temple." Naru scowled, this man was going into dangerous territory. Mai just kept on smirking "Sorry, there are no services today." she said with a shrug. "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." At this Naru positively steamed at the mans impudence. Mai on the other hand was having fun messing with his head. "If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing." Madoka giggled "Who knew Mai was so good at this." she remarked.

"I'd go through anything for you." would he say that if facing murderous ghosts? Naru wondered. "Let's start with your bank account." Mai said cheerily." Ayako grinned, this was getting good, it was only a matter of time before the man gave up or Naru exploded. "Your eyes, they're amazing." "Seeing your back would be pretty amazing." Naru agreed completely. "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together." Michelle snorted, "How cheesy can this guy get?" she wondered aloud "Really? I'd put f and u together." Ayako sniffed "Our little Mai is all grown up and rejecting guys."

"It's a good thing I have my library card, because I'm checking you out." In answer to Michelle's earlier question, he can get very cheesy. "Oh, sorry, I'm reserved for someone else." Naru smirked, she most definitely was. "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Yasu gasped, this man was going to hear from Naru later. "Unfertilized." Mai was starting to get annoyed. "I want to give myself to you." Masako was starting to wonder if this man had a death wish. "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." This man was about as cheap as they get. "Your place or mine?" John started praying for the man's soul. "Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine." Mai was getting tired.

"I know how to please a woman." Monk felt his brotherly instincts start to scream for this mans blood. "Then please leave me alone." 'yes' Naru thought 'leave her alone'. In a last desperate attempt the man tried his best pickup line "I can tell that you want me." Naru was this close to snapping. "Yes, I want you to leave." The entire club shook with laughter as the man trudged out in defeat.

Naru was walking Mai home after she rejected that guy. "You said you were reserved for someone else, I hope that someone else is me, because if it isn't I will hunt down whoever it is." he said to her. Mai looked shocked, but then laughed "Don't worry, it's you!" Naru smiled then he frowned and asked "where did you learn all of those lines anyway?" Mai smirked "When I was in high school the guys once had a week long competition on who could come up with the best pickup line, using all the girls in the school as test subjects, us girls got wind of this and decided to think up comebacks for all of them, it was hilarious to see the looks on their faces." They came to a stop at her house. "I'm assuming you want tea?" she asked him. "Yes. Dinner would be nice as well." was his reply. He didn't need pickup lines to get a date with Mai.

**Mai: I don't know if I should laugh and hug you or blush. *looks at story again***

**Me: Hugs are good! *smiles***

**Naru: Why am I always jealous in your stories? *fumes***

**Me: Because it's cute! *slowly moves hand to stun gun***

**Naru: I AM NOT CUTE! *yelling***

**Me: *stun guns him* Please Review!**


End file.
